You will not believe what I am about to tell you dads. I am seeking advice, counsel, and permission to whoop ass (honestly).

I live in Houston, but work frequently out of town. This week (Wed - Sat) I am in San Antonio. I receive a call from my 11 year old son's school principal.

Hello, I am calling to talk with you regarding the situation that occurred with Andrew at school yesterday. He was in band and apparently had forgotten his trumpet at home. The band teacher asked him to come to the front of the band class and hold out his hands. The teacher then told the other 21 trumpet players to come to the front and blow their spit valves into Andrew's hands, while he held it there. This was his punishment.

I WAS LIVID!!!! I told the principal that she had better be elated that I was not in town, as there would be quite a confrontation at the school with that teacher NOW! She said he was escorted out of the building, and was suspended until Wednesday.

Alright DADS, here is where I could use some aid. I am trying like hell to stay grounded and not tear a hole through this mans throat for treating my son so disrespectfully... however, that is not the ADULT thing to do.

The superintendent of schools called my voice mail and left me a message, of which I will call him once I get my bearings together, and can speak sensibly.. My blood is boiling now trying to type this.... DAMN I am angry...

I plan on meeting with the superintendent on Monday and would like as much ammunition as possible.... PLEASE RESPOND... I need your help!

Michael

You're absolutely right, Michael... I am also totally appalled and horrified by the actions of this "teacher".... actual health risks aside (which are considerable, of course!!!!), this is nothing short of patent bullying (at best) or actual child abuse (at worst)...

I wish that I could offer some help... but, damn, I'm so freakin' angry for your son's sake I'm not sure you SHOULD cool down too much...

My best shot at it? Stay TOTALLY appalled at this "teacher's" behavior and go into the superintendent and/or principal but hopefully all three and DEMAND to know how this sort of treatment of children can possibly be allowed or condoned... I say, stay very angry about the situation but, as you've mentioned, try to keep a cool head for yourself..

I dunno... write out everything you want to have them hear from you and everything you want to have happen as a result of this? At the very least, a VERY public apology from this "teacher", in front of the entire class, to your son... at most, suspension of this "teacher", a serious reprimand, probation of some sort. This is just not acceptable nor should it be tolerated.

In an extreme case, I guess you could seek legal counsel for what charges might be brought against this "teacher"... and I have no doubt that charges could easily be brought...

This behavior is despicable and I can well understand your fury... just try to keep your son's best interest in mind... while still keeping to the intent to make this "teacher" understand and be held responsible for this reprehensible action...

Not of much help here... but you're already on the right track by dealing with this in a rational way.... much as you'd like to smack this idiot upside the head for his behavior...

Oh, and can I be next in line after you?

All the best,

Smokey

In that situation I would have two "demands." One would be to have the school facilitate a meeting with you and the teacher. If you trust the school to chair the meeting have them do it, if you don't the school should agree to pay for whoever you choose to chair the meeting. You should have an opportunity to tell this teacher how angry you. Second, something must be done in that classroom including the teacher making a public apology to your child in front of the other students and a separate discussion with the class without the teadcher there about how abusive this was. Just a couple of immediate thoughts. I hope they are helpful.

What first came to mind was, what about the other students in the class? What purpose does this behaviour serve to anyone? Why were they subjected to hate? Contact all of the parents in this class. It appears to me that the school as a whole is responsible. Contact the Superintendent of Education. Ask for this person to be available at your meeting. You need to take this situation to the top. Investigate first the complete situation. Approach it as a whole. Document everything. But be calm. Your child will be exposed to hate in many capacities in their lifetime. Please don't expose hate for this action in front of your child. Do the right thing. Act calmly. And you will set a beautiful example on how to tackle hate in this world. Love and educate your child.

Well, I am a teacher, and on the board of the Canadian Music Teacher's Federation. I also have alot of contact with The American Music Teacher Federation. I actually would like to forward this to my American Conterpart, and let them have their imput in this. I am disgusted by a teacher like that. It gives other teachers a bad wrap. I believe in respect for students. Also as a father, I can understand how livid you are. I would be too. If there is anything I can do to help, feel free to contact me, and I will look into this personally, even though I may be in Canada.

First of all, A BIG THANK YOU for all your posts! It certainly is comforting.

I am just getting home from the meeting with the superintendent. And, I am wanting to recap the conversation with you.

The superintendent called me this morning at 8 oclock, and also on Friday at 5. Left messages both times, so I know he is taking this seriously.

When I met with him, after itroductions, I sat down and asked him to tell me what had occured in the classroom. I wanted to know the information he had been told. He repeated the same story. Afterwards he begin telling me how sorry he was for this teacher's actions.

The fact that I used to be a teacher myself, as is MOM xwife (for the same school district which the incident occurred), I understand the dynamics of the situation.

I blatently asked him if he thought this was child abuse. He raised his eyebrow for a second and before he responded I replied... "Let me pose a scenario to you, if Andrew had come to school, and told your school counselor that his parents had spit on him 21 times and made him stand there and take it, what would be your response? You would contact Child Protective Services... correct?" He could not deny. He shook his head in agreement. "so again, I ask you, do you consider this child abuse?" He solemnly replied... "YES".

I then began explaining to him Andrew's problems at school now. He is being ridiculed horribly, was tripped at lunch, people are making horrid fun of him, his girlfriend (6th grade love) broke up with him, and most of the students are considering him a BIG LOSER. (in Andrew's own words).

The sup't told me he was outraged at the problems this has created for Andrew, and understood how children could be cruel. He also explained that he had already been on the phone with 3 different attorneys this morning, to begin making steps for action. But, he explained this is a contracted employee, of which the school has to tread carefully. He has a right to award the privacy of his employee and can not detail his actions, however, some of the options could be to ask for a resignation, seek termination, or serious probation.

I explained to the sup't that I would be sending a letter to both SBEC (state board of education) and TEA (Texas Education Agency) to ensure this complaint is on his record. I also would like the sup't to send a letter backing me up, so this 'teacher' no longer is able to humiliate children.

To add to the mix, my sister has emailed the sup't, principal, school counselor, and school board, explaining that if satisfactory action is not taken, she will take this to national news....NANCY GRACE. The media, she explained, loves this type of story, and it would get sufficient coverage, locally and nationally.

The principal acknowledged my sisters email, which I have not even read, and said she is exactly right, no child should be subjected to this abuse, especially in a learning environment; and that the media would love to have this story.

MOM (xwife) was the first call, my sister, the second I made. She was ready for me to give her permisssion to begin an emailing campaign to all news stations, national fox, cnn, then local affiliates as well. I told her to wait one week, to see if the actions that were taken were satisfactory. My son has went through enough drama through this, I really do not want to make it any worse. But am prepared to if necessary. Andrew needs to know that injustice and hate should not be tolerated.

In response to SMOKEY, legal counsel is a consideration still...and line up baby....it's good to know you have got my back

In response to DADO1, this is a great suggestion, especially having a session with the children without the teacher present explaining hate and vigilant behavior.

HANDSOME.... thank you for the comments, I did remain calm, I vented to y'all on my first email, but after sleep and consideration, I overcame the RAGE.

LOVING DAD... I would appreciate any efforts you could participate in making sure this teacher does not inflict abuse on other students. Band teacher, Mr. Rice, 6th grade campus, New Caney ISD, New Caney, TX... If you need any further information, please ask. The website is www.newcaneyisd.org .

Thank you so much for your care with my family. I am beginning to appreciate having a support system.

HouTX:

I have just spent the last 45 minutes on the phone, with certain "powers that be", and I can guarentee that Mr. Rice will have a very hard time teaching music anywhere in your 52 states!! I am doing this from the side of the American Conservatory of Music. He will have his licence to teach music revoked. In the musical world, this is taboo. I have heard cases of such practice in orchestras to humiliate orchestra members who made mistakes during rehearsals. The practice had been banned a number of years ago, due to human right issues.
As I understand, Mr. Rice has done this at other schools, where he has been dismissed. As I understand he is not a regular staff member of the districts, just a contracted teacher. He has now taught his last music class.
I hope I was some help, and I hope they throw him out in the nearest few days!!!

Loving Dad .... Thank you ... I read the information you posted to MOM and we appreciate it! Amazing help ... Thanks again !!!

I have been out of the loop for a while and missed this post. I must apologize. However, thank you for being such a great dad !! Standing up for your child !! And how refreshing to see how your family and folks here stand with you, through this utterly disgusting incident. Please....Please relay to your son...there are many many people who support him!!

Just for the record, the news media picked up this story. It was ABC, Good Morning America, several local channels in TX, then CNN picked it up. I had calls from friends and family all over the nation. Very interesting day. Several newspapers were calling me getting information. I interviewed with ABC local affiliate, and they apparently allowed CNN, Good Morning America and all the others see the video. Crazy...

So if you saw this story...yep it was me.

Dr. Phil's show called me about this story... This has become quite the story! This has not been my intentions, but nonetheless, it has escalated to this, and the district still has not taken serious action, he is still employed!

I was going to ask if you could give some links to the stories, but I came across a couple this morning by searching CNN and ABC. Is it alright if I post the links? They do contain your full name, which is why I ask. If that is a concern, I'd be glad to post them in the quiet room where only members can read.

Just thought the group would be interested in reading it from the local ABC channel and a local paper. Let me know.

sure... you can post ... especially dont mind in the members only section

Okay, great, I post them in the quiet room tomorrow. Gotta get to bed now.

So tell us, how is your son holding up after this incident? He doing okay?

HouTX,
I too have been thinking about your son. The tension and attention at school. Have you been following up with his other teachers on how he is doing? Have you been back to the school? Stay calm. But be present. Geez...Dr.Phil, not so sure about that one.