Last night at the Gay Fathers meeting in Atlanta we talked a lot about happiness in regards to children, coming out, etc. One of the main things that came out of the meeting is that we are responsible for our own happiness and not only can't blame others for our UNhappiness and we can't let others (xwives, etc) blame us for their unhappiness. I'd love to hear thoughts on this.

Oh! Hey, I had wanted to comment on this when I got back from the beach but I got lost in the catching up at home.

Yes, I think it's a good point. We are responsible for our own happiness, and while it's nice to want to make our partners happy, I also think it's a good thought to remember that that is also not our job.

We don't want to make them miserable, of course, but we do ourselves and others a disservice when we expect them to make us happy or when we allow them to believe that making them happy is somehow our responsibility.