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Posted
On one of the blogs I read I came across the online journal of a 15 year old gay boy from Slovania. My oldest is just a year older than he is and after reading a post or two I got to wondering what I might say to my own son were he gay (he isn't).

This boy online said that people tell him to be himself, but he doesn't know how to do that. Sometimes in an effort to be different from straight folk, he tries to pretend he is like Emmet from Queer as Folk.

First of all, I wouldn't want my 15 year old watching that show, but that's another story. I decided to pipe in with a piece of advice. What kind of advice would you give to your child or someone else's about this topic? I don't think this is half bad...
quote:
sonofwalt says: I don't know if you still read this, as this entry was back in March, but I thought I'd take a stab at giving you some advice from the perspective of a gay man who has been out for over a decade.

Being yourself really means just being, being comfortable in your own skin, as they say. But it doesn't mean trying to be different from anyone else. Check your fingerprints. You already are different just because you breath. Emmet is a wonderful character on QAF, but even someone who is like him can only be said to be himself if he is not trying to be.

If you try to be like Emmet or some other wonderful people who are like him, then you are just really just finding another group, another clique to fit in. If the whole thing about coming out is about being who you are, then don't cloud that by putting on the mask of someone else, either real or fictitious.

Being who you are is tough at your age, because frankly you still have lots of room to grow. You haven't settled completely into the habits and patterns that people twice your age have.

My advice is, like yourself; be kind, be honest; be gracious when you can. Treat others with respect and be good to yourself as well. You are whomever you are. Do things that interest you, say things that feel right to you. Trust your gut. But please don't buy into the myth that to be gay you have to act or dress or think a certain way.

Just be. Do it well, and like it.

That's big brother David's advice. I wish I had someone telling me these things years ago, but if you think me too forward, please just put it down to one fellow traveler trying to help another.

Enjoy the journey.

Yours,
David


I am not young enough to know everything.
- Oscar Wilde
 
Posts: 686 | Location: Central Pennsylvania | Registered: 04 June 2005Reply With QuoteEdit or Delete MessageReport This Post
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Works for me. clapping


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Posts: 81 | Location: Wales, UK | Registered: 04 July 2005Reply With QuoteEdit or Delete MessageReport This Post
Founding Father
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haha, glad you liked it. Wasn't looking to have my ego stroked, but thanks! Praise

I just know that some of us may have the chance to influence younger gays, and hey, if there is a genetic connection, chances are some dad here will be the father of a gay child as well.


I am not young enough to know everything.
- Oscar Wilde
 
Posts: 686 | Location: Central Pennsylvania | Registered: 04 June 2005Reply With QuoteEdit or Delete MessageReport This Post
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