Hi guys,

Call it a funk or call it a touch of lonliness, whatever, but I got me some blues. I'm supposed to go to a huge party this weekend (good news) thrown by my best friend and his partner. I should (there's that nasty little word) be excited. I should be thrilled. I love parties! I throw 'em constantly. But I'm dreading it. I'll be at a party with a hot tub and lots of guys. And I'm completely disinterested. I could care less about what is going to happen in that hot tub, I just know that *I* won't be getting in it and don't care to. Not my bag. Guys there work overtime trying to get me drunk among other things.
They don't interest me much. I am struck by the feeling that I don't fit. I'm not "gay enough" for these folks and I'm not "straight enough" for the rest of the world. I'll probably end up in the kitchen making myself busy. For once I'd like a guy to just sit someplace quiet and talk with me intelligently, instead of constantly leering at me and trying to keep my glass filled. Ugh! I hate feeling like this! Well, I'll let you know how it goes... I feel like premenstrual Mary Poppins.
I need a boost here....help.

Cheers,

Jay

Hey Jay,

Well, I wish I could offer a boost to ya but it sounds like you already know what the party is probably going to be like and I actually think that helping in the kitchen is not a bad thing... No doubt, there's a better chance of meeting someone to actually talk to there than around the infamous hot tub...

And, I understand well your feeling of not fitting in... or not being gay enough. Since I've done theatre for thirty years, that's always where I met guys ... rarely did I ever venture into gay venues. And, on those rare occasions when I do, I feel very out of place... Being a father generally only compounds that feeling.

I guess you could consider not going, as well. But, I'm sure you don't want to possibly insult your friend. So, go... and be friendly and know that it is what it is... and if you get tired of it, head on out.

For what it's worth, buddy, at the age of 47 I've finally just decided to wait and see... sure I continue a search for a good guy to be with... and I don't do that in the usual aforementioned gay venues... I enjoy my work, try to keep in some touch with my daughter (at 19 years old, I'm rather superfluous... hee hee) and try to be patient. Hey, my good ex found a guy in Colorado who moved in with him and they've been living happily ever after ever since.... and there are many examples of happy couples here on GF. Try just to be a good man, a good father and leave the rest to fate, or whatever... I know, that sounds so trite... lol...

Sorry for the lack of a boost, but know that there are others out here also in your dilemna...

All the best to you, Jay,

Smokey

Hey Jay,

Sounds to me like many of the guys at this party are interested and into you. Your simply looking for someone to stimulate your mind instead of well never mind this is a family site but you get the idea.

Unfortunately many gay men continue to behave as teenagers well into adulthood. I believe it is because as teens so many of us didn't fit in.

You sound like a really good man who is looking to share his life rather than just one night. When you find Mr. Right it will be worth the wait. In the meantime, enjoy the party...laugh off the leers take them as compliments. If it gets to be too much...get yourself home. Have a great weekend!

Bye,

Sean