I'm writing this to anyone who might read and listen and hear what I can lend as insight to someone who might need a little boost.

What I'm about to say is something that hit me like a ton of bricks over the past few weeks, sort of a revelation if you will.....

So many of us, not the least of which are guys who've been in relationships with women, maybe had marriage and had children, have had our insides torn up about what exactly is our place on this Earth at this time in space.

Please hear me out.

I realize the mistake I've made, no doubt.

One thing I've not been able to do is to let a certain thing go.

We each have something in our lives that we cannot let go. But to move forward, we must acknowledge it and we must let it go.

We may have something in our past whether it's a relationship with a parent, mother or father, or a relationship with our ex-spouse that we must let go because it's harming our forward growth.

For me, my letting go was something I had no idea was still stuck with me. It was nothing more than a symbol, an object. A small piece of gold.

When I was dating my ex-wife, she bought me a small gold cross to go with a gold chain I wore around my neck. I wore that cross religiosly, even until last weekend.

I never realized the impact this symbol had on me. I had taken off my wedding ring over 3 years ago, well before my divorce. The ring meant little to me, other than when I took it off I felt a little naked for some reason. What I realized though was that this gold cross meant more to me.

It was not so much a religous meaning, it was a connection, an emotional bond.

I'll admit that over the last few years the religious meaning of this symbol has diminished. But the effect of knowing the connection to the ex-wife was still there.

Last weekend I had a friend take it off for me.

The affect this has had on me has been astounding. I didn't even think it would matter that much, but the knowledge that I let it go and took it off has been astounding.

First off, it has allowed me to begin to try to understand myself and feel good about myself. I know that is maybe hard to explain or undersatnd. But at the same time, given that I'm now begining to develop a relationship, I'm able now to more clearly see what I need to do to move forward and not be hindered by any dead wood (so to speak).

We all have our hand cuffs that tie us to something in the past that keeps us from moving forward. Mine was this simple cross that I wore around my neck.

All I can do is suggest to everyone to figure out what their burden is and let it go.

Once you do that, the world is at your fingertips.......

Cheers to everyone.


Jim

Interesting... I noticed recently that I still have my old wedding ring. I don't know why. I almost never think of it, but the few times I have over the last decade, I could not find it in myself to dispose of it.

Do I plan to go back? Good, God, no. I never could, even if I wanted to. Perhaps I keep it as a reminder of something that was real, despite the lies I told. Perhaps it was the closest I could get to a real love at the time, the best I would allow myself. I don't know.

But your post makes me ponder it, Jim. Thank you. And I am happy for you.

David

David,

It doesn't mean you need to get rid of it, or dipsose of it to break free of it. More importantly is to undersand what it means to you.

The important thing is to understand whether in your heart you've let yourself free of that ring.

Have you?


Jim