I saw this piece in PinkNews and thought interesting...and how true?

6th March 2007 12:11
PinkNews.co.uk writer

The internet is now officially the most popular way for gay men and women to find a date.

Research has shown that 87% of gay men and 58% of lesbians have used the internet to find a prospective partner in the past 12 months.

But over the same period only 18% of men and 27% of women have had a serious relationship, suggesting that finding the right partner is like finding a needle in a haystack.

That doesn't mean the gay community isn't trying, or that they have given up on the fairy-tale ending of living happily ever after in a civil partnership.

The research carried out by gay-parship.co.uk found that 47% of gay men and 41% of gay women are actively looking for a serious long-term relationship, compared to just 16% and 18% respectively looking for casual flings.

Dr Victoria Lukats, psychiatrist and relationships expert, puts paid to the myth that you have to be promiscuous to be gay:

"Our research finally dispels flawed stereotypical assumptions that gay men and women are less likely to want to form a serious relationship."

But gay people have been working hard at meeting someone.

Over the past 12 months 71% of gay men and women have visited a chat room or registered with an online dating site, while 47% have placed or responded to a personal ad.

A further 12% had joined a more traditional dating agency.

Perhaps unsurprisingly, all this activity hides a penchant for pessimism.

When questioned further, two thirds of people who are looking for something more serious – that's 72% of gay men and 59% of gay women – said they often doubted they would ever find someone.

So what's holding the gay community back from finding someone special?

Nearly a third (29%) of gay men and women admitted that high standards and excessive expectations were proving a barrier, while a further 32% claimed they just didn't attract the right people.

But the biggest barrier to meeting someone is shyness, cited by 42% of gay men and 29% of women.

Overall 87% said they like to flirt, but fear of rejection prevented them from making the first move.

Trust issues are also a big factor, as 32% have been hurt in a previous relationship. and 21% put it down to a pressured career leaving little time for the pursuit of love.

The research questioned 1,000 adults over the age of 18 on their attitudes and experiences of dating


Cheerio for now...Vincent..xx

This is an excellent article and I think it's very true (based on my own experiences).

Jim

I checked out the original story on the website and you left out a key item, the headline:

"Gays Pessimistic About Finding Love Online".....

Lolol....
Well no actually I left the headline out on purpose because it was the Pink Papers take on things...or so it seemed to me, I was just leaving the research figures etc to speak for themselves and see what people took from it.

Cheerio for now..Vincent...xx

Well... I guess you can add me to the statistics !!! I joined Yahoo Personals about 6 weeks ago. I struggled for a while before setting up a profile. It just seemed so "unromantic" meeting someone online. Honestly, as a gay dad, and working full time and part time, I don't have the time as a single person without kids, to go searching for a decent guy. It's just plain easier to setup a profile....making it perfectly clear I'm not interested in any "one nighters"...., and see what happens.

Fortunatley, I'm in the statitics of those who have met a guy, who so far, is wonderful.

I set up my profile one day and the next day, he "hit" me up. We exchanged email addys and chatted for about a week before meeting.

During our meeting, we discovered we worked for the same company. Guess you can tell, we work for a large corporation. Anyway, he's a gay dad too.

After dating for a month now, we have met each other's kids. So far, so good !!

It's early in the relationship, but he is a good guy. We have lots in common. Our time together is relaxed and easy. We'll see !!!

Anyway, my first experience with online dating has been positive.

Jeff

How cool. It's great to hear when we are part of a good statistic sometimes, isn't it?

I was lucky enough to live in a rural area with an awesome support network for GLBT people. I didn't have much luck with the online thing, but I was able to meet a lot of people face to face first, and not always in the "bar scene." The guy I've been with now for 8 years I first met at a local gay potluck dinner (hoe down was the theme... imagine! lol).

Unfortunately it sounds like such organizations are hard to find even in the bigger cities.

Glad that your online experience thus far has been good!