My oldest son (who just happens to be my adopted son), Elliot, will be completing his undergraduate studies in about 10 days. His degree is Philosophy. He has been accepted at 3 Law Schools and has decided to attend one in NYC. The day we got his acceptance letter to the Law School in NYC, I cried the entire afternoon (unknown to him), knowing the reality that a chapter in our life is drawing to a close. A chapter that I'm not ready to finish "writing". I've only been blessed to have him a few short years and he's now all grown up and moving to the next chapter of his life, where he will be writing his own chapter, which doesn't include his dad being apart of his day to day life.

I have an incredible bond with this son. He's gay, too. He was so influential in my own decision to be honest about who I really am with myself, family and friends. He stood by me when I had to experience the consequences for telling the truth of who I really am. We've been there for each other during the break ups of boyfriends...of the joys of good days and the sadness of bad days.

Some of my best memories of this short chapter in our life together are going to be when we sat and had dinner on TV trays in the family room. Afterwards, he would plop his feet in my lap and beg me to rub his feet, while we watched a couple of hours of TV and just talked about the day.

Not only will I miss him, but his little sister and little brother will as well. Elliot has been a huge influence in both of their lives. I contribute much of the younger childrens'acceptance of my own "gayness" because of Elliot's influence in their lives. They just idolize him and think he's the coolest big brother.

I know the current grief I'm experiencing will ease as time passes and I will adjust to this new chapter in our lives. It's not like he's died or anything !! LOL !! Then in a couple of more years, I get to go through this all over again, with my daughter heading to college !! UGH !!!!

I know I will be a phone call and/or an IM and even a short plane ride to my son. I'll be there to hear of the joys, struggles, and sorrows of his life in NYC, but I won't be there to experience them with him. I will be "home" for him for holidays and vacations, but I will no longer be part of the day to day.
My heart aches, knowing I won't be able to give him that daily hug and tell him how much I love him.

Elliot, you are not just my son...but my friend. I am so proud of you. Through my tears, I celebrate with you !!

I LOVE YOU WITH ALL MY HEART !

DAD

Jeff,

I'm right behind you by a year. My daughter is finishing her Junior year of high school and will graduate next June. The jury is still out about where she will attend college, but if it is away from Pittsburgh, I know I'll be following your footprints down the path of "letting go" while they grow up.

Paul

HI Guys,

Well, I have survived moving my boy, Elliot to NYC for Law School. I moved him up on July 31 and I returned home on Aug 4.

I must say, saying good bye to him at JFK airport was the 2nd hardest thing I have ever done in my entire life. After coming home, it was no better for an entire week. I couldn't walk in his bedroom. I could hardly speak of him when friends asked how he was doing.

My two other teenagers have been struggling with Elliot's absence, as well. I'm barely able to control my own grief, so when they struggle, or cry....I can only hold them and we cry together.

Thank God for Modern Technology. Cell Phones, Texting, and IM; all of which has made the distance and his absence more bearable.

On the otherhand, Elliot is thrilled to be in NYC and stretching his wings. He's living with a great couple there, who are just a couple of years older than him. What a relief to know he's not alone and has someone to help him to become "street wise" there.

I'm very happy to say, he has loved orientation at his law school and after sitting thru a couple of lectures, feels confirmed in his soul that this is exactly the profession for him!!!

So....DADs...If you have younger kids....enjoy every day with them....They grow up all to fast !!!

Jeff, I don't know how I've missed this thread before. I started tearing up just whilst reading it! LOL

I have, unfortunately, more practice in being away from my kids but the pain doesn't ever go away - you just learn how better to tuck it away into a quiet place in your heart.

James

Hey James,

I'm not sure how to read your post....you moved to be closer to the kids....has something changed....I do hope not. Or are you just lamenting the situation some dads find themselves in when the mother makes it very difficult to be the best dad you can be...AND share your life and family with your partner?

Cheerio for now ...Vncent..xx