I am sorry that I have been so quiet here on GF lately. It's been a rather tough winter, but despite my personal obstacles, I see that my life is actually very good.

Here's just a little of what's happened. I've lifted this almost word for word off my journal .

Wow, I haven't been myself much this winter. Only a few glimpses of me here and there. Most of the time I have been very tired, stressed, depressed and not nearly often enough, undressed!

But I digress. I hate to whine, that's EB's job, but since September, things have been tough. I know they could be much worse, and I count my blessings; my marvelous, brilliant sons, a handful of precious friends, my dear Brian- the Quiet Man, a nice house (except for the neighbors who are now on my last nerve) and a successful caree... oh wait. That... Well, the restaurant is the best in the area. You'd have to go to NYC or Philly to find something like our place. And face it, I've got a good crew and they have a first class boss (yes, silly, me!), but the company is having difficulties... I'm hoping we can ride it out and get through it.

In September I had surgery on my left foot. This had me out of commission for a few weeks, and not nearly 100% for weeks after. I'm not as young as I feel, and healing from foot surgery takes a long time. The same procedure is due on the right foot on March 23rd. It took me until November nearly to be up to speed, but even then, the right foot has had extra duty and therefore puts me in even more pain than usual.

But hey, Christmas was good!

In January, I caught a very bad cold that hung on for weeks. This apparently sparked an infection... well, elsewhere, and then for half of February I wasn't able to sleep properly for getting up to pee every 15 minutes half the night! Luckily my appointment with a specialist determined that it wasn't too serious. More anti-biotics for the infection (which seems to be improving), and for now, more water, less caffeine and less spicy foods! UGH! I asked, "What about Alcohol?" To my amazement the Dr. said, "Oh, that's okay." Inwardly, I went, "YES!" At least I get to keep one vice.

Now before my surgery, my company in such dire financial straights had their group health coverage canceled because they were late in payment and were not able to put up the full bill and still make payroll last week! Shit!

Tonight, the owner called to chat with me and is very concerned. He says that he knows I was planning and counting on this so he will make sure he helps me cover the costs, paying the premium of the conversion policy that has been offered to me and helping with the co-pay. I feel a little better. But only a little.

The numbers have been up, the guest counts have been higher than ever, all within the year I have managed it, so he says he doesn't want to loose me. However, if he is in debt up to his eyeballs, how can I feel my job is that secure in the long run? Sigh...

So, between being in pain, tired, worn down and depressed, you must forgive me if my posts are fuzzy and few. But just think of all the good fodder this will make for future poems.

Having said all that, I ask you to now forgive and forget my whine fest. I have three amazing boys that I've gotten more time with than I thought possible through this. I have two wonderful brothers, and friends you know on this site. One is coming to help me after my next surgery (Smokey is so dear). The other has been to visit us here in Pennsylvania twice now and we are plotting out our trip to see them in Northern Ireland in July.

I had a great job interview Friday, so I am keeping my options open. And, yeah, I have a good and patient partner whom I am very grateful for. And I think I've learned to care about myself a little more over the years. What is that wisdom with age?

So, despite my whining, life is good.

Hey David,

Good to see you share...the good and the less so. I am so deliriously happy that you guys are coming here this year and I promise relaxation, good food, some drink and an insight into our home...life...country ...however I am working with the big guy upstairs re the weather ..lol.

Cheerio for now..Vincent..xx