GayFatherhood

Hi Everyone,

New kid on the block here. I'm a gay dad who left a hetro marriage over 6 years ago now. Met my present male partner a few months later and have been together ever since. I have 3 great kids (18-14-13). They are well adjusted normal kids who live with their mother and spend a couple of days a week with their two dads. Their mother hates us, but that's her stuff. Can't fix what ain't broke. If you're interested chat me up! My MSN runs all day at work with permission as long as I don't over do it so that's available to. jlatour2002@msn.com

Hi James,

As you can see from my moniker, I'm also from Canada, though the closest I ever got to your neighbourhood was when my mum made Nanaimo Bars.

I've lived in Europe since 1986, both in Germany and now in the UK. Like you, and many others, I've been married to a woman. I've got two beautiful kids, a boy (12) and a girl (nearly 10). Like you, my ex hates the fact that I'm now with a man but, as you say, that's her stuff.

Anyway, welcome to GF.

(Another) James

Hi James,

May I also bid you a hearty welcome to gayfatherhood.com. I see you are now a BC resident, I travelled there and on Vancouver Island too with my ex and son some years ago. We had the most fantastic vacations there, the people were great, pace of life just right and the activities, natural history, scenery etc etc , well it really is 'Beautiful British Columbia'.

I also know what you mean when you talk about the ex's 'stuff', mine continues to try and yank my chain, for what reason it is hard to see, all that happens is she further damages the relationship (such as it is) with our son. I think some times women no matter how well their life is moving on think that gay men are fair game, that we don't have the same fortitude, support, strength to deal with them and get on with life. How very wrong they are....( how wrong you are dear if your reading this! ) Fact is it often takes a great deal of courage to come out when you are in a st8 situation and relationship. No one should underestimate how much we do not want to have to do it and realise the consequences all to well. That said once we have chosen that path of honesty and integrity, we are not going to suffer years of guilt tripping and manipulation, it isn't right, doesn't help the healing process and is a big stick we will not tolerate a beating with.

I am glad to read that your kids like my own son who is coming 17 are well adjusted and happliy share time with their two Dads. I have added you to my msn list and trust if not in the chat room here in Gf.com then at sometime online we will get to say hi.

Glad you have found us, don't be shy about telling us how the kids get on...nice age spread there...all boys?

Cheerio for now....Vincent..x

"Can't fix what ain't broke." Man, I swear that is how it felt when I finally got honest with myself and accepted the truth about me that my church and half my family couldn't. Well said, James.

And welcome again. I'm glad you jumped in to introduce yourself. There are many stories here, some very similar and others quite different, but we all have that same thread in common; our kids are paramount in our lives.

I guess I am lucky, though I admit I worked hard at it, to have an ex who doesn't cause me much headache, at least not any more. Mostly get on just fine now. We meet with teachers and doctors alike. But I suppose the difference is that both of us decided years ago, and agreed, that it wouldn't help our sons to have our hurt or anger worked out in front of them, or worse, on them. Why do so many parents not see what damage they are doing to their children as they try to get back at their old partners?

So, James, all teenage kids then... wow... I guess I'll be turning to you for advice soon. My oldes just turned 16 on Sunday (a post is brewing about that) and my middle guy is 13. Youngest is 10.

Thanks for joining in! See you around the house soon, I hope.

Yours,
David