Hello everyone,

Just found and joined this group and wanted to say hello. My partner and I have been together for nine years, and became dads in January this year with the arrival of Oliver, then just three months old. We are currently in the process of finalizing our adoption of Oliver through the U.S. courts (for work reasons we both spend a great deal of time in the U.S., sufficient to qualify as prospective adoptive parents there). Oliver was born three months prematurely, but is a robust and determined little boy and is quickly catching up on all fronts! He also seems to have settled into sleeping nights (great news for us) and adept at handling the frequent Atlantic crossings.

We know plenty of gay dads in the U.S., but none in the UK, and wonder if there are any members here who live in or near London. Seems UK adoption laws have only recently been opened up to allow gay couples to adopt together, and there are in any case far, far fewer UK babies and kids available to adopt, so I guess the numbers are inevitably far lower. But it would be great to have a few local friends with whom we can share this unique experience. Not to say we wouldn't also enjoy making new online friends with members further afield!

Sending warm wishes to all the gay dads out there,

Charles

Congratulations and welcome to the group! Leave it to America to open the doors to adoption for non-citizens... I'm glad to hear the UK is making progress in that regard.

When you are in the States, where abouts are you guys working? There are guys here scattered all over the States, but I don't know of any in the UK.

David

"You must be the change you wish to see in the world" - Mahatma Gandhi

Thanks, David. Yes, the non-citizens channel was a great discovery; without it we would have found it very difficult to adopt. Of course, almost all countries (even China!) allow non-citizens to adopt, although we had to prove we were resident in the U.S. and with current work permits etc.

When in the U.S., we work mainly out of New York, and over the past year have discovered the joys of Brooklyn (Park Slope to be exact). Love it there.

Charles

Hi Charles,

We do have some members in the UK, but they are scattered between the Northern Isles to South Wales!!! I live my partner and son just outside Belfast in N Ireland. So you guys get to live in NYC....Have only been there a couple of times but love the place.

Great news re your adoption, I am sure Oliver is a handful but a terrific positive part of your lives now. My boy just turned 16 in March, lol, although we have talked about it, don't know if I could do the nappies etc thing again!!It is good to see the adoption laws changed here in the UK now. Once we get the Goods/Facilities/Services legislation sorted by Oct we will have pretty much changed the landscape with repect to rights for the LGBT community in the UK over the past 5 years!!!!

Keep in touch, and if you ever are over on our side of the Irish sea, drop me a line, it would be lovely to meet up.

Cheerio for now....Vincent...xx

Thanks, Vincent. Will definately drop you a line if we are anywhere near Belfast (I have to go to Dublin often for work-related meetings, but never had a chance to discover the North...)

You're right about the amazing progress made in the past few years in the UK, in terms of stripping out anti-gay laws. I grew up and came out during the Thatcher era when the environment was wholly different. What's interesting is the shift in popular attitudes that's accompanied the current government's reforms. If the polls are to be believed close to 80% strongly supported the introduction of civil partnerships conferring the same rights as marriage, and only a very slightly smaller proportion approved of joint adoption by gay couples. Even ten years ago, such numbers were unthinkable. Not sure if its down to government leadership or a new generation brought up watching gay characters on TV, or both, but it's all good!

Best,

Charles

quote:

Charles

Glad to have you aboard! This is a great group for advice on sensitive issues. Welcome!

Hello Charles,

I wanted to extend a welcome as well, although I'm not from the UK, but another Yank, well a sort of southern Yank...from Atlanta. Having a child is one of the most wonderful things in life and I wish and hope all the best for you, your partner and little Oliver. I have three wonderful daughters from my marriage that ended over 2 years ago, but every time I have them for visitation, I think I grow closer to them especially now as they grow into young adults (youngest one is still only 5 but she's a trip anyway!).

You have a lot to look forward to, both you and your partner. I hope you will feel welcomed and at home here at gayfatherhood.com.

Cheers,


Jim

Welcome and congratulations. I've also just stumbled across this site. My partner of 5 years and I have a 2 year old son (who was also a bit early). We live in New York and would look forward to connecting if you would like for a playdate. Although we also like Park Slope, we are "real" city kids living in Manhattan. Feel free to be in touch.

Best,

Marc

Thanks so much -- Wizard, Jum and Marc! Great to find such a friendly forum.

We're in London right now but head back to New York at the end of July. So, Marc, perhaps I could drop you a line then and we could see if we can find a time to all meet up? We will happily venture across to Manhattan for an urban playdate.

Cheers,

Charles

Charles,

Just wondering how your Summer and Fall have been with young Oliver. Have you found any other gay dads near London?

Just wanted to check in with you and see how the family was. Hope all is well and would love to hear from you!

Yours,
David

Hi Charles,

Hope you're still about. Used to live in E15, myself, but my partner and I moved to South Wales a couple of years ago to be closer to my kids.

Just had to come in and post this because it mentioned your NY neighbourhood.

James