Hello all, I posted my I am back post, but as I read the other post, not sure if any of the old timers will remember me and my daughter and then there are all the new fathers on here that I have not had the chance to meet yet. So, I decided to throw out our life story to you! Here goes nothing guys!

Mine is not really a coming out story after being married guys, I have always been gay, since my very early years (different story all together). At the very tender age of 21, I meet my first (well actually not the first, but at that age, the first true relationship) partner. We were together for 14 years. Like most relationship, it had its ups and downs, but in year 9 of our relationship, we were truely blessed when my ex ran across an old freind of ours.

Now we had just moved back to Indy after living in Cleveland for some time, Carl (my ex), was out running erands and ran into Dallas, my daughters biological grandmother. As they were talking, Dallas informed Carl that her just turned 15 year old daughter was pegant with her second child, and they were giving her up to the ward of the state. After chatting with her, Carl could not wait till I got home and informed me that we could adopted Mikala (my daughter) if we wanted too. Without question, my answer was YES! I finally found what I was looking for all my life. A TRUE FAMILY!

I had never really been close to my family, and after coming out, it only got worse! After talking it over with Carl, Dallas and Holly (my daughter's boilogical mother) and four months of waiting, attending all the doctor's visits, buying cloths and totally redocorating the guest bedroom into an room fit for a princess, the day finally arrived. I was at work about 35 minutes away from the hospital, Carl called me and asked if I was ready to be a dad, I dropped everything, and I think I made it to the hospital in about 20 minutes. Thank god, I did not get a speeding ticket.

After waiting in the waiting room for about 6 hours, Dallas came to get Carl and myself to go into the delivery room, it was time. I remember, standing there and watching as Holly gave birth to Mikala, I could not hold back the tears. I was finally complete, I had finally had the family that I soo longed for. After the nurses took Mikal to clean her up and all that good stuff after birth, we were instructed to go the the new born room and wait for our daughter. After all the test and cleaning up, there she was, sitting in her pink blanket waiting to be held for the fist time. We got the nurses attention in the room, she came out, we told her who we were and wanted to hold our daughter. At this point, the nurse informed us that we were not family and that we could not be given access to our daughter. Now, before Mikala was born we were talking to an attorney and was told that in the State of Indiana, we could not adopt until she was born, that the State of Indiana did not consider her a living being till she was born. So we waited till that blessed event to file all the paperwork. We tried and tried to get them to let us hold her, even having Mikala's grandmother come out and inform them that we were adopting her, but they still would not.

One nurse came up to us and gave us the name of a gay attorney and his number, she said to call him now. Within 5 minutes, we were on the phone with him, told him everything going on, and within the hour, he was at the hosiptal with paperwork for us to sign. He informed us that the other attorney lied, that we could have had all this done by now. After getting our signatures, he rushed down to the court house, explained that the mother did not want the child, has had nothing to do with her, that we were to be the adopted parents and the judge granted our attorney temporay legal custody till the adoption was done. He rushed back to the hospital, gave the paperwork to the doctors and nurses and finally after about 4 hours of waiting, we were allowed to hold our daughter.

I will never forget it, the first time I held her in my arms, I truely felt love, unconditional love. I started to give Mikala to Carl, who was so nerveous and afaird he would break her, he had to sit down and hold her with me watching carefully. LOL now. Mikala spent the first three days in the hosiptal, I would go to work very early, work all day till about midnight, rush to the hospital and spend the night rocking Mikala and doing her midnight feedings. I think I only got about 6 hours sleep during those 3 days. On the 3 day, we packed up all the floweres from friends, family and our daughter and we were off for home. Its funny, but that is the very first time I ever said home while we were together.

Now that we were home, our attorney informed us that we would have to have a home study done and then we would set a date to go in front of the judge to approve the adoption. The home study date was set, we had spent 4 days cleaning, cleaning, and recleaning the house for the interview. I remember looking out the window when the car pulled up. This elderly lady steps out of her car and the first thing we saw was her Pentocostal Bee Hive Hairdew. Talk about a sick feeling in your stomach. Now remember, Indiana is in the Bible belt, and we thought it is all over. Two gay men trying to adopt. She came in, we sat down at the kitchen table, she asked several questions and it was done. Not once did she want to check out the refrigerator, she never walked into Mikala's room to check out her bedroom and condition. We thought we were done.

About a week later, our attorney called and said everything was approved on the home study and he had set the date for the approval. The date was set for the same day as Carl's Birthday. The day finally arrived, we were waiting in the hall to go into the court room, my attorney told me to calm down. Now I was pacing back and forth for an hour. We had decide that because I was in management with a salary job, Carl wanted to be a full time stay at home mom as he called it, I would be legally adopting Mikala. State of Indiana would only let one of us adopted.

The time was at hand, we went into the court room, the judge asked me about 5 questions, never looked at me, and said congratulations, the adoption was approved. At this time he asked what last name we wanted on the Birth Certificate, we both answered that she was to have both our last names. The courts may not of allowed us to be a true family unit, but we did. Our goal was for us to legally chance our last names giving us all the same last name and completing the family unit.

I would go to work 6 days a week, working from about 9 am till around midnight to allow Carl to stay at home raising our daughter like he wanted. Well, needless to say, our family unit only stated to gether till Mikala was five, Carl decided he did not want to be a parnent anymore at that time. But that is a different story. Now that I have bored you guys with this long winded story, that is how I became a gay father. A little different from most on here, but still a gay father.

Hi Indydad67,

Wow !!! What an incredible story !!! I am so impressed with your dedication to your daughter !!! I'm sorry to hear of the end of your relationship with your partner, but I'm thrilled to hear you dedicated your life to your child!

Your story is really incredible...

Looking forward to knowing you better.

Jeff