Well, Let me introduce myself. My name is Mark and I live in the Sacramento area in California. I am SO excited to find this website. I hope it is what I want and need at this crossroad in my life.
I came out 5yrs ago to my wife through meeting someone that I feel in love with. It was a painful experience divorcing my wife of 12yrs yet at the same time exciting to have found someone to share the same feelings that I had towards men. I currently have a very healthy relationship with my EX and a 4 kids. However, 2 weeks before Thanksgiving my Partner of 5yrs left me and moved back home to PA. It was difficult through the holidays and New Years but I survived. He just didnt think we had what it took to keep us together. Actually, I believe he just missed Home and his 6 siblings.
When I came out 5 yrs ago My father and mother both disowned me along with most all of my friends and family. My life saver has been my youngest brother and his new wife. They have encouraged me in so many ways along with listening to me cry and cry and cry! without giving up on me. I miss my partner but am beginning to realize that we all have choices in life and we cannot make them for others, no matter how much we want too!
I am so in need of meeting gay fathers that have a perspective on gay parenting and loving. My ex had no children and I was his first relationship after coming out. He was 35 and I was 39. He never really embrassed my kids or the parenting scene. He always wanted me after I did my "thing" as being a dad. Eventually he felt I didnt give him enough time and he wanted more. Anyways, I am here looking to heal and have hope in someday meeting a man that wants to fall in love and enjoy me for all I am and all I have to offer, which includes my 4 kids. I came out to them about 1 yr ago. I sat them down and we had a great discussion as to who I am and How it all fits into how much I love them. Hope to find the support I'm looking for and would like to say...THANK YOU for this site!
Mark

Hi There mark,

Welcome to our home on the net. We are a very diverse bunch of guys from all around the world who like you are involved in parenting, love their kids and are of course gay. I know you have been through a rough patch, but that said you seem remarkably up beat and positive which is a great attribute, being able to see what happens in our lives for what it is and adapt/accept/rationalize is something we all have to to from time to time no matter how much it hurts us.

Relationships can be frought with challenges at the best of times but the minority within a minority that is the lot of gay men who also have kids( something like 12% of gay men are involved in parenting in all it's forms) in their lives is certainly one we have to face up to. That said I know many guys who do find the kind of man that relishes the rich opportunity and happiness in life being a parent brings...so yes I also always believe the best is yet to come.

Terrific to know that you are out with the kids too....how did/do they deal with that a year on from your discussion with them.

Look forward to getting to know you, great to have you in the group....Cheerio for now ...Vincent..x

Mark,

Welcome to the site. I recently started paying attention and posting to the site and I have received some great feedback, advice, etc.

I too have four kids - between 6 and 12. girl, boy, boy, girl. My divorce is newer than yours, however, so I am not out to my kids yet.

I sure am interested in hearing/chatting about your experiences with the coming out to your kids. As mine bring home negative impressions of gays from their school and the culture at large, I feel like I am being dishonest by not being out. I need to, I think, commit to coming out to them sooner than later. Might help me loosen up too, and find a relationship.

Private chat would be great too.

Peace,

David

"You must be the change you wish to see in the world" - Mahatma Gandhi

Whenever we welcome someone to the group I always remember our dear friend Dennis (Screen name, Luvndad) who was my first assistant and then first co-manager of this group back on MSN almost four years ago. We teased the dickens out of the poor guy because of a typo. Usually they are just merciless with me about typos, but this time he accidentally said to someone, "Welcome to the grope!"

So, we had to make a rule: NO Groping.
Anyway, it seems this group is less likely to get the guideline violations that we got from bots, spammers and hackers on MSN, but maybe we've just been lucky. LOL

Anyway, I wanted to particularly say that this was wonderful to read: "I came out to them about 1 yr ago. I sat them down and we had a great discussion as to who I am and How it all fits into how much I love them."

Thank you so much for sharing some of your story with us and for trusting the guys here to help you in your journey of healing. You sound like a super guy and a loving dad with four very lucky children. Glad to have you part of the GF clan.

Yours,
David