Hello Everyone.

I've been lurking around the site for awhile now but haven't taken the leap and introduced myself. My name is Tim and I am a single father of 3, ages 17, 15, 13. Through my divorce, my only focus was what would be best for my kids. It took about 5 years, however, I do have primary custody of the kids. They see their mom often... from Thursday evening to Sunday morning. She also lives very close by and they can see her when they want to.

The relationship I have with her currently is what I would describe as "Fair, at best." I am the commnunicator, and she isn't. I make every attempt to include her in the kids events (school activities, birthday parties, etc). Unfortunately, she doesn't reciprocate. Frustrating at first, however, I'm used to it now and have developed my 'work-arounds'. I guess it's as good as it gets.

I am a work-at-home dad which works out very well with the kids, and I have a flexible enough schedule that I have not missed a school meeting, dentist or doctor's appointment, or being a chaperone for a field trip in almost 9 years! On the downside, I have my best friend sleeping under my desk most days. Since I've lost touch with many co-workers, and I fear my best friend is my dog!

Seriously tough, relationships are quite tough to come by and maintain. I make it very clear from the start that my kids will always be my priority. Though many initially like that in me, the reality eventually settles in and it becomes too much for most to handle. I am fortunate that I've been in a committed relationship for about 5 years now and have been 'happily ever after' since. Though we do not live together, we see each other often. Not bad for living about 350 mile apart (thank god for 'Ma Bell' and a good set of tires)! In many ways, my life is where I always dreamed it would be. Of course some things could be improved!

I first came to this site looking for some sort of reassurance that I am doing right by my kids....That I'm not too protective...That I'm doing OK as dad. I thank you all because I have come to the conclusion that I'm doing OK and the kids think so too. I have offered a thought or two to some of you and I hope that they helped. I am also looking for some of your all experiences in maintaining relationships.

Well, thank you for reading this. I hope it gives you a bit of useful information as to who and what I am. I look forward to taking a more active role in this group. I think we all have a wealth of knowledge to share.

Welcome to GF, Tim. Glad you found some encouragement here. I know this seems like a slow start to the new site, but at least three out of the five of us who manage this little home for gay dads on the web are on vacation this week, including Vincent who is here with his partner David (yes, another one!) and his son, and Wayne who is off visiting with a few other members on the Rosie cruise.

Anyway, I'm so glad you found the place and decided to dive in and speak up. Keep in touch!